O Heart!

Heart

My dreams are too heavy
My will isn’t strong enough to hold that weight
Let me take that baggage off my shoulders
My struggle to breath is tiresome
Let me go back to the oceans before I die,
I am the trapped fish in an imaginary net
I know it’s not a good idea;
My gills sometimes malfunction
They long for the undissolved air when I swim
My lungs overestimate their capabilities
They long for the turquoise blue when I feel the sand under my toes
How heart, do you manage to be so lovingly deceitful?
Under the cover of your pretentious dumbness
You’ve still somehow got the smart brain in your grasp
How heart, do you manage to be so foolishly clever?

My dreams are too heavy
They gift me wings
And slowly clip them away
I guess I should appreciate the weightlessness then
But my imagination spreads with a combination of black and white
Not gray! Never the gray!
Never mind the circumstances
They can be different but they won’t be good.
Let me oscillate between these two areas –
A moment ago, I swear I couldn’t have been more proud!
But now self-abhorrence washes over me
How heart, do you manage to be so sweetly cruel?
What’s the reason behind your deception?
Your prolonged dissatisfaction?
Moving up the pyramid of desires,
Is there any end to your doomed existence?
To your search for meaning?
No! Heart, don’t throw those occasional rays of hope again!
I know there aren’t any better tomorrows
There will always be some codes to decipher of another realm altogether
How do you manage to be such an honest liar, heart?

So, yes, my dreams are heavy!
My will isn’t strong enough to hold that weight
Or easily accept the decisions of fate
If you hadn’t been so difficult to live without
I would have asked someone else to pump the blood, I swear
But how heart, do you manage to be so dispensably indispensable?
And probably the worst decisions of the history or the present or the future
Have been, are being and will be taken by you
And yet I can’t stop myself from floating along your crazy impulses
You should have never been allowed to lead
Or voted to such high position at all
I guess that’s where sometimes democracy falls
At its very foundation
But never mind this politics, you are mesmerizing!
How heart, do you manage to be such pathetic and yet popular leader?

My dreams are heavy but I will carry them along till I am crushed or something
If they feel like cotton, I will ensure that I take a dip in the river
On your stupid orders, heart, on your stupid orders!
I would trade my peace with ambition
Simplicity with complex imagination
My rationality with irrational bouts of rapture
You have a cruel sense of humor
I regret it now that I ignored this rumor.
They said that you would be fun
Ah! What an ugly pun!
I want to rebel against you, heart.
But there’s no way to escape your hypnotic grasp
Or my obsession without any lethal withdrawal syndrome
God, you are such an asshole!
How, heart do you manage to be so attractively ugly?
So repulsive that it’s hard not be in love with you.

***

2 thoughts on “O Heart!

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