If I tell you that it’s okay, don’t believe me; A monologue

If I tell you that it’s okay, don’t believe me.
Because if it’s not okay, it is not okay.
If I ask you -“How are you?”
An “I am fine” is not a mandatory reply. You can, by all means, tell me that you are not fine.
If you don’t want to speak, then don’t.
I would still sit there through silence.
If you can’t lend me your voice, then don’t.
I would still lend you my ear and listen through your unspoken words.
Don’t answer.
It is okay to be not okay. And you can accept that. You can be vulnerable. You can do that without being weak. “Stay strong” – they say. What do they even mean by staying strong? Don’t stay strong if staying strong means that the only thing you can do is to weep secretly and explain your swollen eyes as the consequence of sleep deprivation. Wail! I ask you. Scream in the middle of the street! Stay weak! Don’t stay strong! Don’t wipe those tears, so soon. No! Being sad is not a crime. Your sorrow is not a stolen jewel that you need to hide. Don’t.They will ask you to smile. Forget all and begin again. But why? Don’t forget. Remember it clearly while you can. Let that pain shake you, embrace you, transform you, transgress you! They would say – Be happy! If only we could do that voluntarily! No, don’t force happiness on you. That’s the most depressing kind of sorrow.Let happiness be spontaneous. Keep those doors open and let it come to you at the most unexpected times! Begin again – they say. But you haven’t even witnessed the complete ending! No! Don’t begin again. End it wholeheartedly first! Don’t smile if you can’t figure out how to. Cry, if you must but don’t you hide. Don’t make up with feigned laughter. Don’t you dare enter in that zone of suppressed emotions.

Who are they to classify your emotions as desired or undesired?
They are emotions, your expressions, you have no voluntary control over it. Don’t make it worse by not accepting. Accept. Be angry. Be sad. Be disappointed. Be upset.

Your -not being okay- is my greatest reason to be hopeful that everything eventually will be okay. So, don’t be okay. Because that’s okay.


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