humour, Penumbramagazine, Short Stories

What to do when you find that someone you know is a lesbian.

Well, here are some clear instructions for that;

Check list includes:

10.Spread it like a wild fire.

  1. Make fun of her in every possible way.

  2. Don’t talk to her. She might fall for you.

  3. Make her realize that she is not acceptable in society over and over again.

6.And when you have done all of the above, go to a police station.

  1. Look for a nice and dumb police officer.

4.Ask for his gun very cleverly.

  1. Say ” I am a bad and sick person and I do not deserve to live.”

  2. Hold the gun to your temple. Carefully.

  3. Shoot.

^THIS WAS THE checklist of  DON”Ts

The checklist of DO’s include:

1. Do nothing.

2.  I repeat, do nothing because there is nothing to be done here.

Anyway, moving on to the secondary part of the post..

Well, I was declared lesbian after my friends happened read to this( the not so short story that I am going to share). But I went ahead anyway and submitted the story to the online magazine I write for.

The answer to the question of whether I am really a lesbian is something that I would just like to leave as a mystery because I don’t think it matters either way. Of course, being a lesbian might  result in me ending up in jail ( India being such a party pooper) and facing a lot of homophobic attacks but I think being in jail might get theturquoiseink some of its greatest posts. Being a heterosexual, on the other hand, will pretty much be all everybody-does-this stuff; me drooling over Ian Somerhalder and Brad Pitt and Edward Norton’s pics and then having stupid one day crush on all my seniors one by one and checking out every hot guy I spot across the street and yet have no boyfriend. And when the most unlikely of all my friends will get committed with the hottest guy I know, I might fall  into the deepest pool of depression. No jail, no crime, no nothing. And no greatest posts for theturquoiseink. Ugh!

Conclusion: I can fall in love with anyone I want. You should not have any fucks to give. If you do, then that’s the ultimate wastage of fucks! Nobody grows much fucks anymore but if you do then you should know that they are precious and one should not waste them on judging someone based on who he/she loves. They are meant for greater purpose.

Here’s the link. Happy reading!

http://penumbramag.com/about-her/

Signing off,

Theturquoiseink

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “What to do when you find that someone you know is a lesbian.”

  1. well i dont want offend you or anything, just adding my point here.

    if u see nature itself exists as pair in opposite sex!everything in the world is attracted by the opposite and held together.

    Being a lesbian or a Gay is a mental chemical locha, which could be treated. there might be many reasons of a person turning homo, from being bullied,raped to witnessing something bad to enough to diminish the image of opposite sex.building a fear of the other gender lasting long…

    may be think once from this point of view and u may ,may, may by not giving a fuck see the difference 🙂

    Like

    1. Oh! Hi! Random Homophobic person (no judgements intended, I swear) I don’t want to offend you or anything …just using my freedom of speech here;

      I would so much love to “think” from your fascinating Point Of View but Look at Silly me! .. hysterically laughing at how wrong and ignorant it is.
      You say that “nature exists as pair in opposite sex.” That’s true. But if your eyes hadn’t been so wide shut you would have noticed that nature exists with other “mentally-crooked” pairs as well.

      Homosexuality, a psychological disease? Wow! In which era do you live? It’s like you are holding on to pigeons to deliver your messages when you can so easily send Emails!

      My sincere advice;
      Dude, you have an internet connection. So, you may, may, may for once use google for right purpose.

      It can certainly shed some light on your ignorant life but I am guessing you wouldn’t bother broadening that narrow mind of yours anyway.

      I pity you.

      Like

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