When you change your home after living there for seventeen (or more) years, you feel like you are changing your identity. And even if it’s a rickety house ready to fall with one breath it still holds a special place in your heart. Can you really forget the place where you spent your entire childhood? One cannot just erase the memories of one’s best phase of life. That phase of life which was full of innocence and love, where making mistakes was not a horrifying experience but a way of growing up, a way of learning things. It still is but once you grow up you have this pride and then of course, there is this ridiculously high price to pay for every mistake you make. You learn ,no doubt, but only after a heart imprinting consequence. I miss my childhood. I miss every minute (that I can recall) I spent in that house. I miss being a kid.
Can I really forget the way sparrows, and mynah, and parrots used to pay us a visit by the window. And every time they would visit we would provide them with refreshments. I am going to miss watching them eat, sing and making nests. Could I really forget the way I used to gaze at the river and the bridge from my terrace, sit at the tank just to feel for a second that I was on the top of the world. Could I really forget the troubles we would take just to pluck some fresh black berries from the trees that were around our house? Can I ever forget the times I have played at those stair cases with so many different people? Can I ever forget all the pre-Holi celebrations that went on my terrace? Can I really forget those rooms in which I have played so many games with my siblings; monopoly, cards, dumb charades, hide and seek and a lot& lot more (I don’t even know what they are called. We would just make something up and play) Now, all of us have grown up. My eldest sister is getting married! So much change in one single year! It’s not fair! I am breaking away some strings and it hurts.
I feel Iike I owe everything to that house; my identity, my memories, my everything. It is not fair!
I am excited for making a fresh start. But there is a basic human tendency; we find it a little hard to let go.
But okay on the positive side… I am excited as hell.
This is a new beginning for a final impending end.
Remember! Remember! These bricks and walls,
These trees and birds and ground so vast,
Remember this end, this final good bye,
Oh! These little miserable things of past!
Remember! Remember! This old yellow paint,
These toys, these clothes and the gray cupboard..
Those November that went by seventeen times,
Oh! This long little sad winding road!
Remember! Remember that kid who grew up!
Weird little creature lost among this little world and the sky,
Remember these gates that had meant an end to her,
Are bidding today a final inevitable good bye..
Remember! Remember the one who couldn’t come back!
And those tiny little angels no longer nearby,
Remember that pain, that sad long time,
All now lost in this deep long sigh..
Remember the leaves, once seen through the window,
Remember the chirping tiny little sparrows,
Remember the talking plants in the pots,
And the squirrels running, too agile to be caught,
Remember those fights, remember those cries,
Remember that laughter which was always nearby,
Remember the moon and the big lantern..
Shining across the earth and all over the sky,
Remember the yellowed pages and the books so old,
Look at them now before they are gone and sold,
Remember the lights and the sounds of merriment,
Bon fire, colored sand and the smell of the sweets,
All with you! All with you!
Everything in her life takes her back to you.
Learning to write, learning to read,
Learning to draw and to sing and to dance,
All with you and all these things….
Comes to an end with one last glance.
Well, so yes, it is very difficult to change your home but not just because memories begin to haunt you. You are quite prepared for that. What you are not prepared for is; the decluttering part prior to final shifting.
Oh! I tell you. Dude, that is not fair either.